Growing up as a young lady, I often thought how nice life would be if I was able to fall in love with a man, get married, stay home and be the adorable housewife I knew I could be. I would cook and clean and eventually raise our children and life would be perfect. Right? Wrong! As a 23 year old I'm not entirely aged, but I think I've seen enough to know better than to wait around for some fairytale that will never come. I have to make my own dreams come true and it'll just make them even sweeter to achieve. It probably goes without saying that I was a fan of Christine de Pisan's letter to the secretary of the King. Sure, she had to use a little "butt kissing" tactics but she knew that's what she had to do simply to have the letter read. I really enjoyed the way she compliments him, and then immediately tells him he's wrong. I have a vivid image in my mind of an egotistical aristocrat looking down on this woman for being a writer but being swept away by her flattery, only to be dropped right back down with her honest opinions. This woman was brilliant!
I still see this type of behavior with today's men and women. My mom will often try flattery tactics to get my dad to do something she doesn't want to do, such as mow the lawn or bring in fire wood. However, theres one thing I have noticed that has changed, or perhaps is only magnified through contrast of most other things changing and this remaining the same, it's that men rely heavily on women for much of their needs. I'm not just talking about sex, laundry, housework, etc. I'm talking about when my (now ex) boyfriend calls me and asks me to look up a phone number or directions for him when I know just as much about the area as he does, as if by some mysterious way his phone cannot dial 4-1-1. I don't mind small favors, but when things like this continue over time you really start to feel like that person's mother/caretaker and frankly it's not attractive. I'm so glad I'm a woman in this century because at least I have the right to choose not to be with a loafer!
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